This week I am remembering my friend, who one year ago, ended her life.
I have had more conversations with her in the past year than any other year in recent times. It's been quite a flurry.
The prevailing feeling I have as her anniversary rolls around, is that I just need to see her one more time. Then I can capture her essence and bottle it, once and for all. Hear her laugh, have a fight, clink glasses, shed some tears, drink too much, rehash 20 year jokes that only our trio thinks are funny, be ridiculous, and feel that absolute comfort of being with your own.
If I could just have that one more time, maybe I would know how to let go.
I have spent the past year trying to find that technical glitch in the finality of life and death. Not to be outfoxed however, death remains steadfast against my pestering and occasional optimism that I have found a way to make it happen.
One more time. That would be enough.