5 minutes in the life of a baby.

contemplate space travel

show disdain for the overly-simple car book

ask mummy to explain climate change

meditate

continue teaching self to read

demand no more photos

Science between the sheets.

I'm still seething from the ridiculous article I read in the Weekend Australian Magazine last night. I admit I was warned; "I don't think you should read that", but I didn't really expect anything in a weekend glossy to really rile me that much.
As it turns out -  the 'scientists' are dabbling in female sexuality AGAIN! And the face of this new campaign is the quite bizarre face of Lisa Rinna. Lisa has decided to go public on the period in her life when Harry simply did not do it for her, and is sharing her findings on talk show couches across the nation. Turns out - it was a 'clinical' problem and she has a pill that can fix it for all her unsatisfied sisters (n.b. she is on payroll of Big Company that manufactures hot sexy pill).

The article goes on to note women who feared something was wrong when "all I wanted to do was go to bed and read a book."

Ummmm ... is that a bad thing?

Two points:

1) Men Scientists - it would be nice if it was as simple as feeding your lady friends a pill (and much easier for you). But the reality is other things may be more effective for your lady to get her groove on such as:
* a clean house that was not cleaned by her
* a decent night's sleep for sexy vixens who are also raising your kids
* a hot sexy love god in bed every night (or is this your natural state?)
* some personal space out of the microscope because let's face it - she is not a science experiment

2) Lisa Rinna. Not exactly a huge selling point.

The truth.

As feared, now that I am free of the burdens of paid employment - I am not actually doing any of the things I dreamed of doing as every dreary hour passed in office-land.

Dreams:
Set up a business!
Make craft!
Be an artist!
Discover new and exciting cuisines!
Read!

Actual:

Supporting lots of other online businesses via Paypal.

Facebook.
Day-long hangover.

Quick 'rustic' dinners.

Flipping through old Gourmet Travellers, but only to look at the pictures.

'Helping' baby read by holding book up for her and making her read words for self.
Dreaming of the day there will be fresh milk for sale again.

Obviously, there is always next week.

Lessons

Today I learned that the Port Moresby rush hour is no place for a seedy lady who is no longer adept at  being seedy.
Port Moresby traffic keeps its flow thanks to giant double laned roundabouts that helpfully let anyone go in any direction at any time. For example - I could turn right from the left lane at the same time as the person alongside me chooses to accelerate and cut me off so as to turn left from the right lane.
Today as I laboured home from a school drop off at 8am I elected to drive at a safe average speed of 40km per hour. People sped past me in cars being held together by packing tape and once again I marvelled at how much a car could actually take and remain road worthy.
Mini vans and taxis wedged so close into spaces that didn't exist, that I could have reached out and shared the Twisties someone was eating for breakfast in the next car.
For the second time this week, I saw the same mini van/PMV for sale. It is asking 59,000 Kina. (???!!!)
The back of the van is 80% rust, back tyres almost down to metal, several windows missing, and there is an alarming tilt that exists regardless of on-board passenger distribution.
I am no expert in public transport here or anywhere - but this does not present as particularly good value for money in my mind.
For that much money - it is possible to buy a brand new shiny vehicle .... or half a kilo of mushrooms, or an iceberg lettuce, or a few litres of fresh milk.

I know where my Kina would go!

What happens when there is no best man to win?

It seems that Bob Katter finally has the ears of the nation. At last!

So what do you do when everyone slinks home from the election party and you simply cannot drink another (very very full) glass of warm chardonnay poured by the nice volunteers from the social club?

Step 1:
You present yourself to the people.

Step 2:

You get down low and tell everyone to brace themselves for the worst.

Step 3:

You fly.

Step 4:

You start to really believe in yourself, to the point that any ironic fit ball stunts become part of your actual dancing repertoire.

sometimes paradise is grey

single file

bravery

dudes

us and them

Who wears the pants?

My vacuum bags arrived ... thanks Dusty!

Your unconditional hand of friendship has shone a glaring light on my empty sarcasm. Your return address sticker is one of the warmest, most heartfelt stickers I have ever seen in the time that I have become addicted to online shopping.

I will now add you to my 'favourites'.

***

Last week I think I may have walked a few steps in the shoes of a soccer mum. I think it was the moment I opened the door to my boutique 4WD and threw in many bags of groceries in an exasperated fashion, before speeding off to 'pick up the kids from childcare' (in compound-land that means coming home to allow haus meri to leave), running through the front door in work clothes with ID pass, wiping snotty nose, wondering when I could start drinking wine, running bath, feeding child while on phone, putting child to bed, cooking dinner, sterilising bottles, doing late night feed and then collapsing in heap. By Thursday, I went on strike and put myself to bed at 8.20pm. It was absolutely the right call.

But if the everyday demands of life such as the above seemed to 'stretch' me somewhat - this was nothing compared to meeting the demands of my haus meri. On Wednesday morning I took dictation regarding what I needed to buy for the haus meri baby group we were hosting the next day. Doing my best to manage time, I decided to buy the stuff a day early, so I drove out to the shops, rushed around with my list, paid a sum of money that ended up being higher in total than the weekly food bill for our family and came home. As I struggled with the 8 bottles of Sprite and Fanta and the 2 litre bottle of milk that were thoughtfully packed into a single giant plastic bag, in addition to the other 7 bags of groceries, I passed my haus meri on the walkway having a relaxing stroll in the shade with Emerald looking at the birds.

I'm not sure how it came to this.

The next day was The Day and it was big. Everyone who was anyone in the compound rocked around to our house and it was loud and chaotic and definitely a wilder affair than we have ever held.

Yes - Mama and Dada have been out-rocked by the compound haus meris and the kids. As I slinked out to work ("byyyeeee" cried all the ladies as I left them in my fully-catered house while I went to earn some more kina to pay off my Fanta and cake debts), I did snap the party. It's official: Emerald has more friends than me.

***

Now I don't claim to be any kind of expert on US politics (in fact I am generally profoundly bewildered by that particular democracy) - but I am picking up on the vibes that Obama is not quite rocking it like he was initially. For example, the way he caused that massive oil spill and then did NOTHING to make it better - that was a really ill-thought out political strategy.

Today I've heard that he has dared to defend freedom of expression for religious groups - people are up in arms about this! Understandably - people are questioning why the hell they ever thought this guy was different to all the rest. I will stop paraphrasing, here are his words:

"But let me be clear. As a citizen, and as president, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country. And that includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances. This is America. And our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakeable. The principle that people of all faiths are welcome in this country and that they will not be treated differently by their government is essential to who we are. The writ of the founders must endure."

What a loser! He is obviously 'out of touch'. Following these comments he made another statement to clarify that he was not addressing "the wisdom of the decision" to build a mosque in that particular location.

Someone else's 'wisdom'.

Now Obama's problem.

Kind of like the oil leak.

It takes a ballsy American President to defend the rights of freedom of religion in this time and place. It would have been a lot easier for him to go another way. Obama - I will still wear your T-shirt.

***

Ladies of the week:

I've gotta say - this whole 'work' caper is really making it hard to manage my online life. Just as I bloomed and developed many different online identities and became an active participant across social networking sites - it has all come to a terrible halt. I hope Yoko Ono isn't too upset that I haven't tweeted for over a week - she really deserves more as one of the 9 people who are following me on Twitter.

There is a great name in the wings for anyone feeling a bit subversive about the demands on your time these superficial activities place ... and it is called Tw*tter. And everyone who uses it is a Tw*t.

I have been on Twitter for weeks and I still don't really understand what's going on, or how some random people came to be following me, or why. Why does Carla Perez give a hoot? And who the hell is she?

***

I saw Julia last night completely nail one hour of Q&A. Julia - I want to be you. I don't want to make too much of it, but it is as though she overheard my critique of her rise to power and subsequent campaign strategy last week, on the eve of her shift in tactics. Since then she has played it exactly as I had hoped, and it is working for her. Julia - all you had to do was ask, I'm always here for you! On the upside - it means I can stop reading the policy documents of the Greens and Democrats (yes - they do exist but could definitely do with a nice injection of funding to bring their website into the year 2000), and can just vote. I even tried to read policy documents on Tony's side ... it felt strange. In fact I realised that I was reading with a screwed up face, and as I was at 'work' - I made a snap decision that some things would just never be for me and got back to the job at hand.

***

And as for Naomi Campbell - bi-atch!!! Super sonic biatch. Was I hearing things, or did she actually describe her appearance at the ICC as a huge 'inconvenience'? Yes, Naomi, I suppose you could describe the prosecution process for those charged with war crimes as an inconvenience. Imagine being a victim of war crimes though! Now that would be really really sucky. Darlink, just tell me who did the bun, it's been on my mind ever since it graced my (very wide-but-not-quite-high-enough-to-capture-it-all) TV screen.

Bringing home the bacon

I start some casual work today and I am already in mourning for the loss of my lazy afternoons and no need to be anywhere, ever. It's also been a while since I've been employed on a casual basis (ie. it's been a while since I was 14 years and 9 months and eligible for the minimum check-out chick wage). Someone suggested we should have a coffee and I wondered aloud if I a) would be allowed to in the time I was working and b) if I would have to reflect the 15 minute break in my timesheet. On the flipside - I will not be shy in recording any late departures from work, whether it be an additional 2 or 3 minutes, so I guess the arrangement works both ways.

It is so much nicer to be on nice fat salary and take coffee breaks whenever the hell I want for as long as I want. It just doesn't seem fair that less money also means a less interesting job and a less flexible work environment.

Q.) How did I get to this place?

A.) Motherhood.

Solution:

Must take anti-discrimination placards to new job today and place them around my desk so that everyone who approaches me with an enquiry about how to lodge their vote for the Federal Election from PNG is aware that they are in some way complicit with the decline of my career and earning potential.

Work Ethic Status since I was last actually employed: In decline.

***

In other news - some more snaps from Moresby. There is so much that I don't get pictures of that is gritty and vibrant and interesting. Still wondering how I might walk up to a group of people and flash my camera and in turn, flash them. It's tricky.

Rock on

I knew life was starting to get a bit too crazy when I started shopping online at dustbag.com.au. What a wild ride that was.

To confirm that it was all too real, I received a confirmation email from no other than 'Dusty' him/her/itself that began with "Dear Anita, We wish to welcome you to Dustbag."

Thanks Dusty, but that's probably one welcome I could do without. I hope my purchase did not give you the wrong impression. I am not seeking a relationship, or even friendship for that matter, I just need to be able to use my vacuum cleaner again. It is unlikely we will ever cross paths again, in fact I purchased two 5-packs to ensure this is the case.

We had some friends over last night and decided on the Thai path for food. An ok concept, but getting limes on a Sunday around this town is a bi-atch. After dragging baby and self through the two main supermarkets, I had to send out super-dad to go far and wide. He was not allowed to come back until he was literally bearing fruit. He did not disappoint.

Went to the Ela Beach markets on Saturday a.m. which is always nice for a wander and feeling a little bit amongst-it (and seeing every other person you know in Port Moresby doing same). Emerald saw her first cultural show and although a little freaked out by drumming and painted/feathered men ... she eventually showed an aptitude for appreciation of cultures that are not her own. We were very proud! On the way out I did the unthinkable and bought fruit and veg from the enterprising folks at the front gate. Winding down the windows and waving my money at the nice people might not be on the usual brief of how to conduct oneself on the road in Moresby... but we did get some good bananas ... and cause a funny little traffic jam. Apologies to all those affected, it was my vain attempt to be one with the people before speeding off in my CRV.

Saturday night was the trivia shin dig for Buk Bilong Pikinini ... all I can say is that I ate a hell of a lot of Jatz and Nobby's. For a gal like me - the Trivia Night diet really throws everything right out. I eat dinner at nanna time and then spend rest of night eating pre-dinner snacks ... I think there were stil Jatz going in as late as 11pm.

And as for these flowers - they keep on giving! I had no idea they would become 4-dimensional overnight.