A time to atone?

It is easy to forget events in our recent history. Things move so fast, the world keeps on spinning, and old things get replaced with new. Watching the David Hicks interview on the ABC last night took me back. It took me back to that dark dark place not that long ago, where people were scared, two corners of the world that could not be more different were somehow intertwined, and governments of all persuasions dug their heels in as far as they could go to achieve .... something.

It was a scary time.

Scary not because bombs were falling in my backyard (luckily for me I lived in the corner of the world where I could just watch them fall in other people's backyards on television), but because the social structures and politics of the world as I knew it got a little bit tough and jaded, and it didn't seem possible to squeeze them back into shape.

As the tenth anniversary of September 11 approaches, we will all once again be reminded of the horror of that day, and simultaneously be directed to contemplate the ongoing horror of the war in Afghanistan. Two diametrically opposed and geographically separate places, joined by animosity, fear and war, drawing in many, many lives along the way in the ten year spiral.

George Bush.

Dick Cheney.

David Hicks.

The Mums, Dads and kids of all those lost in NYC on 9/11.

The Taliban.

Osama Bin Laden.

John Howard.

Citizens of Afghanistan.

The Allied Forces.

Tony Blair.

Some people have been lucky enough to be in another phase of their lives now, while others are still enduring different kinds of hell; grief that won't go away, fear, war, depression, physical wounds, uncertainty, persecution, disability, and it goes on.

George Bush got retirement and Osama Bin Laden got a pretty easy end. He for example - did not have to endure five years at Guantanamo Bay like his alleged soldier, David Hicks. Like all good dictators, Osama Bin Laden spun the ideology like a master, and then lived a life on his own terms, risking very little and certainly not his own safety or life, like the easily led young men below him did.

So with the big players of the day now largely out of our consciousness and the current political landscape, can we move on? I suppose we often like to think we have, but there are a few inconvenient reminders that pop up from time to time to remind us of the legacy that has been left.

David Hicks - the man is free now and he can talk.

A little bit inconvenient for some, but perhaps an opportunity to reflect on how things might have been done differently?

Every Australian soldier that dies in Afghanistan.

Do their families understand what they died for? I hope so.

John Howard

He sounds wise and relaxed, like all former PMs who no longer have a political agenda or really give a shit what people think anymore. But I was recently reminded of his steely determination on the David Hicks matter at the time, and I remain as bewildered today as I did then. Was it worth it? What was it really all about?

Even in applying the most rational, non-emotive, non-political analysis I can possibly muster (as a subjective, biased individual) - I cannot recognise any good outcomes for any side of this ten year horror. There has been no victory, only countless deaths and lives ruined.

Some fat cats sit comfortably in retirement, while some other poor bastards come crawling out of the conflict on all fours, still alive but no longer with a life.

Why?

http://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/justice/inquiry/never-again

Stats at week's end.

I am beat.

Three assignments in the last week: finito.

Bun in the oven: ever growing.

My kid's bedtime: later and later.

My kid's bedtime style: wackier and wackier (on the floor is the latest, as in - she will only go to sleep down there).

Working demands on my beloved: Great.

His ability to don apron strings and cook me dinner: Nil.

Ratio of daily rest time for me, and my haus meri: 0:5

My desire to begin 'confinement' now and spend next 3 months in cave wearing trackies and watching 30 Rock: High to very high.

Over and out. My body-length maternity pillow awaits.

Woop-woop!

Yes, this really is my life. At least today.

This morning I was reminded that tomorrow our house would be hosting the 'baby-group' i.e. the employer-sponsored 3 hr morning tea for the ladies, and that I should buy some provisions. Hokey-dokey then!

And off I trotted to the shops, like a good boss meri.

I will admit that I quite like the pride the ladies take in hosting this shin-dig, and am generally amused at how the financial support, blessing and even the home of the boss meri are completely overlooked when who is hosting these days is being considered, i.e. it is not and never will be me.

The food I bring back is always carefully placed in a 'baby-group-do-not-touch' kind of zone, just to make sure we did not eat the bright pink lamingtons for dinner, for example. I understand the spatial delineations of this routine now, it has been made crystal clear.

But when the spare fridge got fired up today for two loaves of pizza bread (yes, that's a spare ENORMOUS fridge and an empty freezer up top), I felt I had to step in.

Umm .... do you need this fridge for anything else, or was it just the two loaves of bread?

Okay - then I think they can probably just go in the existing fridge which is not full and can easily accommodate.

And with a degree of hesitation that was great enough to be observable to the naked eye, the bread was taken out and put in with the more common, every day food.

Oh well - it will make a good story for the ladies on the day! They can have fun sitting around, eating cake talking about the crazy boss meri while I make myself scarce upstairs and spend 3 hours pretending that I do not live in my house.

Once more, today I have asked myself how it has come to this.

Reflections on the way life used to be ... from a crazy pregnant person.

Pregnancy is such a 'magical' time .... isn't it just? The sciatica, the increasingly uncomfortable sleeps, the disappointing wardrobe options that shrink with every centimetre you go the other way, the way you need an actual hoist to get off the couch as times goes on, reflux, hatred of wine - your life long friend ... and it goes on. The last time I was pregnant I'm pretty sure I obsessed about every stage/minor change and complained loudly, often. This time I like to think I've been much more stoic and selfless, my body is a temple ... albeit not mine, etc etc.

In any pregnancy however, I think it is safe to say some things are consistently lacking appeal/relevance (and best avoided):

1) Drunk people, especially close loved ones who forget they are drunk and you are cold stone sober, for the 26th week in a row.

2) Body waxing - Jesus Christ. The pain.

3) Dance floors, again the drunk people. No thanks, I really meant it when I said I didn't want to dance, you see I have gained 8 kg in the last few months, most of it located at a crucial tipping point on my front. And just to remind concerned people who still can't quite understand why you are not having fun, again ... the 26th consecutive week of sobriety. Boring, isn't it?

4) The pool guys cleaning the pool - 3 guys, one pregnant belly and a neon bikini. I don't think so.

5) Any TV program on childbirth, esp. where something goes wrong. It really is as though it is your own child. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

6) Anyone who has been within 200m of the Weigh Inn Hotel. Avoid.

7) Multiple sets of stairs, toddler, 5 bags of groceries - at same time.

8) Your old bras and cute matching underwear sets. Consider again in 18 months.

9) Intense political/topical debate - you never know which side you will end up with the hormones, and general annoyance at being the only sober person at the table.

10) Fish products of any kind - they are repulsive and vomit inducing.

You wanna hang out? I'm so much fun to be around!

Home sweet home

The sight of 7 tradies at the front door at 0800 today did not fill me with confidence. You want to drill a hole in my bathroom ceiling? Sure, come on in, coffee's on!

Why the hole?

I asked a few questions to sound interested/concerned, but I have to admit - I've largely given up and now accept my fate. The biannual drill/plaster festival at randomly selected houses across the compound usually comes without warning and sometimes, also purpose.

After establishing what I thought to be the focal point (the bathroom ceiling that required the hole), I came downstairs to find two guys pulling the stereo apart and trying to get at the wall.

Morning!

Ummmm .... the bathroom's upstairs dudes.

Mutter mutter mutter (them to/about me).

So yes, I have spent the morning with one eyebrow raised at a cluster of strange men doing inexplicable things in my home, and occasionally reaching into a full washing machine to pull the WHITES out of the DARKS/COLOURS. I am not sure how much clearer I can make the principle of colour segregation with washing, without moving into deeply racially offensive territory.

Apparently the painter will be here in a few days to 'patch up', Great! Maybe he could take a look at the hole with the live wires poking out in the spare room that remains from the previous festival.

The domestic burden is heavy today, my friends (but at least we have a brand new hole in the bathroom ceiling).

The suburban drag.

If you have a spare 20 minutes and want to be challenged and entertained - check out this TED lecture. I had to look at it for uni - so happy that this piece of uni work turned out to be so engaging and at times - hilarious. But yes, re. suburbia and where we find ourselves today ... shudder shudder. There is much ugliness to be repaired!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1ZeXnmDZMQ

There are those who have nothing, and there are those who steal Nikes.

The commentary I have heard regarding the current lawless mess of cities across the UK has been interesting, as across all perspectives one thing seems constant. No one quite understands what the hell is happening. Journalists and commentators are now starting to weave their own hypotheses into analysis, in lieu of anything more substantial I suppose. 'Disenfranchised youth', 'The forgotten generation', 'London's underclass' ... and it goes on. Is this the case? I'm not sure, as there doesn't seem to be any commonly held or apparent ideology underpinning these actions, and indeed there are no public representatives or spokespersons for the rioters. There are just a lot of people making a big mess and stealing shit. Society will not look kindly on them (not that society generally embraces young people wearing hoodies I suppose); but the footage of people trying on shoes before they steal them and lining up to get the security tags gives the whole picture a particularly offensive hue.

The point of it all? Maybe there is no point - which is pretty hard to stomach. What does it say about life and culture for these young people? There seems to be zero connectivity to the wider communities in which they live, they have been able to disentangle themselves from society to enable them to behave as though they have no public responsibility or obligation. It's pretty incredible, because even though people do it tough in the UK - they still live in a free society with police that will protect them if they need it, hospitals that will treat them if they get injured, in say - a riot, and schools that will educate them. But perhaps they are not doing this for any sense of disenfranchisement, maybe they are just doing it because everyone else is.

Whatever the reason - it is so disappointing and ultimately so pointless and wasteful.

In PNG, I would like to see a few more people rioting. I am almost ready to get the ball rolling on behalf of the endless numbers of people who endure and re-endure hardship at every single corner. The thing that is so hard for me to understand is the blanket acceptance of the status quo. People have been worn down, and there they stay.

A mother with a sick daughter takes the day off work to take her daughter to the doctor. They spend all day on public buses and several hours waiting at two locations to be told that one place does not have the right medicine, and the other closed down months ago. They can't afford to go anywhere else. They go home and ask their church for a blessing to improve health.

A man drives his friends home after a game of football. His car gets stopped by a few guys who say they are going to steal it. He says "WTF?". They stab him and he bleeds to death. He has a wife and 4 kids at home.

These are two stories of people in my circle, or outer circles this week. The death of that young man is absolutely heartbreaking and infuriating. Please, someone - start a riot!

And for everyone here who is sitting at home watching loved ones get sick with no idea what is wrong with them (and no money to find out) - please start a riot!

People who have close to nothing spend so much of their time just trying to stay at zero, constantly working to escape falling back and going into deficit - whether it be health, finance, school, food, housing, staying out of jail etc.

People who have a lot more than nothing just want more and more.

Oh the imbalance. It's getting under my skin this week.

Beep beep!

I realise that tales of odd driving behaviours in foreign lands are a dime a dozen but ... I am going to add to the pile anyway.

This morning I was speeding along the freeway, smugly overtaking all manner of under-performing vehicles on the big hill (including the fuzz), before I reached the crest and had to slam on the breaks. My speed was quickly reduced to 40 km p/h due to insanely slow moving vehicles in both lanes - not unusual in these parts. Slightly more unusual however, was the fact both cars had slowed down to enable the drivers to communicate. I think they were really angry with each other. It was rush hour. These guys didn't give a hoot, however. One hand was angrily pointing a fist out the window, while the respondent reached up and over his roof to respond in kind.

What I liked about this exchange (aside from the fact there appeared to be no guns involved and it was just a good old-fashioned freeway tiff at 40 km p/h) was that one of the guys popped his hazard lights on when he realised how much traffic was building up behind him. Indeed, it was a hazard! His very own self-made hazard.

After we had passed an exit and they had moved into one lane (the fast lane) - so that everyone could overtake them (from the slow lane), they pulled over. Were they seeking a more fulfilling type of combat? Best to never really know, I remain happily ignorant.

An exciting film opportunity - no acting experience required.

I can't wait wait for the Australian Department of Immigration upload on You Tube! I just looked and it doesn't seem to be there, but keep a close watch. What upload you say?

Well, the bright sparks at immigration are going to dabble in some quick film making to create a piece to further 'deter' folks who think Australia looks like a good option (compared to war or famine, for instance). I guess endless years in immigration detention, a shit scary boat journey, the odd riot, increased chances of mental illness and no secure future are not enough of a deterrent to some persistent people who simply must illegally board a boat (but it's not the people per se we are addressing through these extensive measures, but rather the naughty smugglers). Oh, I forgot. That's only the Australian option. Now that's off the cards, people actually just get turned around and sent back to Malaysia anyway. Problem solved. There, they will have the chance to 'work' slum-style, so it's not as though their livelihoods have been completely brushed over by a rushed policy. They have a future.

Anyway, back to the movie. The Australian Government is going to film the passage of some unwitting movie stars embarking on the first return journey to Malaysia and upload it to You Tube (the international platform for conveying all types of messages - no English required).

Hmm. Many questions have been whirring around my mind since hearing this today. Firstly - will there be a sign at a relevant transit point similar to the ones I occasionally see at Customs to inform me that Ch 7 is there filming Bogan, sorry Border Security and if I did not wish to be filmed, I should inform 'them' (I have never understood who 'they' are, or indeed seen a phone number). Do asylum seekers enjoy these same wonderful rights (ie. you WILL be filmed, but please inform us if you do not wish footage to be aired). And secondly, who is directing these films? Did the Australian Government put the opportunity out to tender, inviting AFTRS grads and others? I am thinking that it should probably be shot in a realistic/docco style, I hope they don't over-produce it too much (like Ch 10 has done with Masterchef - completely ruined a great format). But say they do decide to adopt a genre approach - what will the soundtrack be? If they try to make it look happy/appealing - suggest they go with Holiday. If they go with slightly more poignant, drama style - suggest Leaving on a jet plane. If they decide the message is best conveyed in shoot-em-up action genre - suggest Am I ever gonna see your face again. In any case, there is no doubt in my mind that a soundtrack can only enhance the messaging. Suspect there may be an outside chance that film crews/voiceovers used for Border Security may even be consulted to assist with this important project for Australia's immigration policy (given how proud immigration senior execs are of the commercial success of that program).

So many possibilities! Expect that whoever had this assignment land on their desk last Friday at immigration (let's be honest, it couldn't have been much before then if it's in the news today) cannot believe their luck. Hopefully it will be in the hands of an artistic young departmental graduate who always thought they had more colour/pizazz than Canberra had to offer and throws themselves into the project with a zeal and vigour their drab colleagues did not know/expect they possessed.

Oh, and one more question. Will the faces of asylum seekers have that chequered thing (you can still make out the face if you squint) to protect identity? They are, after all potentially seeking protection from persecution/war/hostile regimes/other nasty things that may want to kill them or their families - and it probably wouldn't be very cool to broadcast their face to the world as they try (and fail) to seek asylum in Australia.

I cannot wait! Almost more exciting than the final Harry Potter release.